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GM and Microsoft...
At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with
the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer
industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that get 1000 miles to the
gallon."
In response to Mr. Gates' comments, General Motors issued a press release:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the
following characteristics:
- For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
- Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a
new car.
- Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.
- Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause our
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the
engine.
- Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you brought Car95 or
CarNT. But then you would have to buy more seats.
- Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five
times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the
roads.
- The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
- New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
- The airbag system would say, "Are you sure?" before going off.
- Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and
grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
- GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand
McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither needed them nor wanted
them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to
diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the
Justice Department.
- Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how
to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as
the old car.
- You'd press the '"start" button to shut off the engine.
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